In our culture it’s not very cool to be dour. In fact,
there is a great movement against it.
These “negative Nancy’s”, as they’re called, are not looking
to make trouble. In fact, they would rather not be found out so adroitly. And
yet, they can’t seem to escape being pointed out in a group, and condemned
for not conforming to Happy.
Everyone knows about the “Life Is Good” company. Found in
airports and stores across the country, the shirts and items for sale are
stamped with pithy quotations and grinning stick figure (men) usually with a
dog. The emphasis is an overwhelming sanguinity spouting from each corner as if
to re-baptize born Optimists and indoctrinate stray pessimists. For someone with a melancholy, suspicious temperament, these stores
have an almost disturbing vibe. What if I don’t think everything is so chipper?
I am the deviation apparently.
Now optimism doesn’t always go with extroversion, but a
wee bit of pessimism (realism) can and often does goes with introversion. And
the resulting misunderstandings between said personality types are enormous.
Case in point, the extroverted, well-liked Lizzie Bennett
holds a grudge against introvert, inscrutable Mr. Darcy before she even
properly gets to know him. She will base this judgment on his seeming proud
demeanor (though it was her pride
that got wounded). But at bottom, she really has not the slightest clue about
him or his past. Because he’s not an open book, people naturally place on him
all kinds of assumptions. Mr. Darcy confesses to not being able to converse
easily with those he’s never met, and instead of taking a moment to empathize, Elizabeth
basically laughs at him. However, this inability to be well-socialized is
resplendent amongst members of the Introvert clan. Are we all doomed to such
like misunderstanding?
But back to the 21st century…
People who aren’t smiling and laughing with the group, at
all times--no matter how trivial or superficial the talk is--are seen as weird.
There is a war against questioning,
doubting, second guessing the blithe, happy go lucky flair that gets flung at
parties like manure. To be hesitant with your smiles is equal to being targeted
as a spy, intruder, and potential threat. They must be taken out, taken down,
whatever needs to happen to get them out, and keep the party smiling. To be
wary of this merry affair is to be apparently grim. Yet if I am grim, I don’t
quite understand those who are anything but.
“How can they laugh and joke?” Merlin asks Arthur of the
knights around the fire, who are about to go into battle the next day. How can
you act as if everything is fine and dandy all the time when you have to know
it’s not! Is it blind arrogance, with false joviality masking their inward
fear? Yes. Is it just often part of their nature, these blithe Sanguines, easy
mannered Phlegmatics, and coquettish Cholerics? Yes. So we must forgive them,
as they should forgive us. For there is something to be said for the Melancholics
amongst us.
