Loss is More

So you washed your phone. Or you bumped a cup of tea onto your laptop. Maybe you lost your iPod. Does that make you any less of a functional human being? You still have air in your lungs, working limbs, the world is still out there to explore. What more could you want?

The fact is, whether we want it or not, we do become dependent on technology. We begin to think these things which are added “wants” constitute as implied “needs.”

Being the space cadet who washed her phone in her coat, I could have reacted in several ways. I could have freaked out, I could have blamed someone, I could have cried. Instead, I remained calm; the kind of calm in which you want to be angry, but realize you have only yourself to blame so you stay silent.

After checking out the Oracle cards in slight exasperation, I reached for The Pilgrimage by Paulo Coelho, and turning to any page, found the only thing that could have reached me. It was a quote from the ‘good book’:

"When I sent you without money bag, knapsack, and sandals, you lacked nothing."

The tears began to stream. The fact is, we come into the world with nothing, we go out of the world with very little, and You Can’t Take It With You.  My distress over the loss of my mobile device was laughable. Thoreau never had a phone; he bemoaned the incoming Railroad, and who the hell thinks of railroads as being modern technology? As for my other favorite, Emerson would never have conceived of mourning over something as trivial as this.

We could all take a hint from Montaigne in his essay “Of Solitude”, where he talks of how we have much to learn from those who live with less,

“I see to what limits natural necessity goes; and, seeing the poor beggar at my door, often merrier and healthier than myself, I put myself in his place, I try to fit my mind to his bias. …I easily resolve not to take fright at what a humbler man than I accepts with such patience.

And he talks of how we should act in times when Fortune smiles on us,

….And knowing how precarious these incidental comforts are, I do not fail, while in full enjoyment of them, to make it my sovereign request of God that he make me content with myself and the good things I bring forth.”

Maybe it’s having watched the documentary, Minimalism, on Netflix for the second time later that night, but I felt freer having one less item to distract me from the task of Living. We hear of people who do intentional “no screen time”, for an evening, a day, even a week. Rarely do we embrace such inadvertent loss. And yet, maybe it’s the best thing that can happen. Sometimes we must lose something if only to realize there’s so much more now to gain.

Missed Opportunities

Missed opportunities are when what should have happened doesn’t. When what should be, is not. They happen more often than we might think, but most of the time we aren’t aware enough to notice. Sometimes, however, we all too clearly see what Could Have Been. When a missed opportunity happens, and you watch it go by, it’s agonizing. You see a chance for something, but now it’s too late. The moment has passed; and it’s not slowing down or reversing its course for you.

Why Missed Opportunities Happen

Missed opportunities show us that we aren’t living in harmony with the Universe.

Sometimes missed opportunities result because other people failed to do their part. A missed connection can result because someone forgot to tell you a vital piece of information, or failed to convey what someone wanted to pass on to you.

We rarely realize how often the Universe uses us to impart vital Truths and spark creative impulses in others. We fail to see that just as others have a potential to help us, we are as much a part of the equation as anyone else. It is humbling to realize that we often fail be the kinds of people those around us need us to be. We have much to give others, but if we are set in our ways, we will unconsciously be stingy with ourselves. We cannot know that everything we’ve been through is in fact for other people.

Synchronicity

Synchronicity, the opposite of missed opportunity, is when all is in alignment. You have been making the right conditions, living unselfishly, praying unceasingly. When we live in accord with the natural flow, we are gifted with these precious glimpses of Big Magic working in our lives. These are the moments when you meet your future best friend because one time you walked this way instead of that, when every other day you’ve missed them. 99% of the time we live in Missed Opportunity. So when something Cosmic happens we are startled out of our wits. We are hit with a vision of how interconnected we all are, how integral spirit is in our seemingly provincial lives, how it takes minimal effort on our part—yet still effort—for us to attract the right circumstances, people, and insights into our lives.

Meant to Be?

Some people are of the opinion that everything happens for a reason. Nothing is a mistake because in a twisted way, even negative occurrences are things we can learn from. This is partly true, but there are some things in life that we very much can make happen, or stop from happening if we put effort into it.

Doing Our Part

So what can we do to ward off these missed opportunities and sync ourselves with what’s meant to be?

Ask the Universe for Help

·         Literally write a letter to the Universe. How can you get answers, connections and clues if you haven’t specifically (and I mean specifically) asked for what it is you Seek? My friends and I did this in college one time when we desperately wanted to get a sought after apartment. Not only did it work, but we’ve used this technique since then for various things, with surprisingly consistent results.

·         If writing isn’t your style, make a collage of images that embody what it is you seek. If you desperately want to live in California, but don’t see how it’s possible, find magazine pictures of people having fun in the sun, living the lifestyle you imagine. You can never guess what opportunities might come that happen to make it possible.

We think because God is everywhere he must automatically read our minds and lend a hand. God is benevolent, but he still requires our 5% of effort in our envisioning and asking.

Be Flexible

·         If we are too fixed on a predetermined outcome, we will look many a gift horse in the mouth. It isn’t always for us to decide what’s right for us or not; merely to be open to it when it arrives. Also, not to cut it off should it appear at an unanticipated time.

·         We are not required to know everything ahead of time. We cannot predict how and when opportunity will strike. It’s not a matter of deducing how the Universe works, per se, except in so far as knowing that it works when we are Awake, have a goal/purpose in mind. However, me must be open/flexible in terms of how our questions will be answered or take shape.

“God always listens…what I do not utter is that His answers to our prayers are not always what we ask.” –The House of Hawthorne, Erika Robuck

Be on the Watch

·         We have to be ready for It to arrive at any time. It’s about being prepared for the Unknown. It’s a seeming contradiction, and I think that’s why so many of us struggle with it. How can you be prepared for something whose arrival you cannot possibly predict?

·         We have to be diligent artists, prepping the canvas with sufficient gesso, keeping one eye on our paintbrush, one eye on our surroundings. So when Opportunity presents itself, out of the blue---which is always how it likes to work, undetected from our watchful gaze--we will be ready to get busy about our work. Yet we still are required to be watchful. Missed Opportunity happens when we are eyeing other people’s filled canvases or are too busy with our head in a techniques book.

We must not rest on our laurels.

We should be excited about the future; even if we don’t know what to expect.

 "Life is a series of surprises. We do not guess to-day the mood, the pleasure, the power of to-morrow, when we are building up our being. Of lower states, — of acts of routine and   sense, — we can tell somewhat; but the masterpieces of God, the total growths and universal movements of the soul, he hideth; they are incalculable. I can know that truth is divine and helpful; but how it shall help me I can have no guess…

The one thing which we seek with insatiable desire is to forget ourselves, to be surprised  out of our propriety… and to do something without knowing how or why…. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. The way of life is wonderful: it is by abandonment. The great moments of history are the facilities of performance through the strength of ideas, as the works of genius and religion. "A man," said Oliver Cromwell, "never rises so high as when he knows not whither he is going."  -Ralph Waldo Emerson