Meeting the world with Grace

We are not always gifted foresight about a situation or about the direction of our lives. And then sometimes we are. A dream, a premonition, a flash of hope in a promising magazine image, a word sprung on us from a neighbor walking by. Whatever it may be, however it may seem, we are guided or attract the very circumstances in our lives that are for our growth and awakening.

We are magnetically brought to and directed by our Higher Self, spirit world, our conscience, our ancestors, God, the universe, angels, however you want to describe them, every day. We may not know the names of them, their faces, or even be able to differentiate them in a book. Yet they are with us nevertheless, guiding us, nudging us to take action, with thoughts and insights that prove their accuracy in time. With patience all becomes clear. Why we chose this road and not that, and then circling around, we find we did not miss an opportunity, but now the road is open, where before it was closed for construction.

There is a construction site and a school going on in our lives every day, every minute. I believe these forces work closely with us to try to refine our lives, to be in line with the purpose we came here on earth to accomplish. That being said, there are certain people we are meant and arranged to meet at certain significant times to bolster some awareness, some path we are destined to travel. Whether they are the final resting place, or an Inn on the side of the road, we are grateful. For every friend, every relationship, every job is a teaching in how we can better meet the world with grace. 

9 Habits for A+ Mental Health

 

“Life is what happens when you wake up and decide to start again.” -me

Mental Health is a big subject, big because it affects nearly all of us. In fact, according to a Forbes Health article, entitled, “Depression Statistics in 2023”:

• About 20.78% of adults in the U.S., or 50 million Americans, live with mental illness, per 2019-2020 data from Mental Health America.^[3]
• About 21 million adults in the U.S. (8.4%) have experienced a major depressive episode.^[4]
• About 280 million people worldwide live with depression, according to the WHO.^[1]

So how do we manage it, if it is hereditary from someone in the family? Because according to the website:

“People who have an immediate family member living with depression may have a two to three times greater risk of having depression, according to Stanford Medicine.^[2]”

Also, according to a CNN article May 17, 2023, more than 1 in 6 people are either receiving treatment for or acknowledge they are depressed.

So, what can we who are on the receiving end of such an unfortunate feeling state do? Well, let’s get started, there are 10 active things you can do to improve your mood today:

1.      Change up your DIET

·       Cut out Carbohydrates and Sugars. That’s right, you heard me. That means skipping that: -Bread, Pasta, Pizza, Cereal, ice cream, cookies etc.….

                            Trust me, your gut will acknowledge the difference. Going Gluten-Free was the best thing for my mood.

·       Eat something fresh and energizing instead. Think:

*Apple, Banana or celery and peanut butter, a cup of frozen berries soaked in almond milk, a fruit smoothie, even a carrot and hummus if you’re feeling nibbly.

2.      Get those SUPPLEMENTS!

·      Recommended supplements for additional mood support include:

**Fish Oil with Vitamin D: Brand: Nordic Naturals all the way)

**Magnesium:  I know there’s many brands and kinds. Depending on if you’re looking for additional Bowel Movement Support, the kind I use/like is Thorne’s Magnesium Citrate.

**Probiotic: There are many kinds on the market, so checking your local health food store, or even Target/Walmart will give you fair results. I use “Rae” probiotic from Target.

3.      Cook with and Eat Healthy Fats/Oils!

·       Coconut Oil- Did you know this is also good for skin, hair and nail growth as well as weight loss!!)

·       Butter Yes, you heard me right, good old-fashioned butter. Not margarine, butter.

·       Olive Oil-There’s a reason this is a staple in the Mediterranean diet!! Look how healthy they are! Reduction of heart disease too! (Skip the canola/vegetable oils!)

4       De-Stress!

·       Get outside in the Sun or go for a walk.

·       Be Productive about getting things checked off your To-Do list.

·       Relax into a favorite Hobby.

5.       Have Friends and Love!

·       Kindred spirits are not as rare as you think! Talk to friends in addition to a therapist for combined power talks!

·       Being happy, laughing, and quality time with loved ones boosts Mood.

6.       Let Go of Control!

·       You can’t predict or even control the future or the outcome of a situation (be it a job, relationship or health) all you can do is love what you have while you have it. Admit that Life is Change, and You Can’t Take it With You (Whatever “it” is).

7.       Do Your Favorite thing!

·       Whether it’s dressing up, going on a hike or bike ride, tending to your plants or reading/watching your favorite show, remember you love it for a reason. You deserve to engage in that which makes you smile.

8.       Do Something for Someone Else!

·       Giving/sharing is one of the best ways to feel productive. It’s useful to shift the focus on someone else’s life other than your own sadness/struggles.

9.)  Pray!

·       When you can’t figure it out, Stop Playing God!! It’s not up to you to make it better sometimes, we have to humble ourselves. Below is the AA prayer, which can be relatable for everyone:

 

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.
Amen.

 

So, go for it. These are just some simple tools. For more information there are some incredible resources out there.

Only Connect!/Reach out and Grab It

 "Only Connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer. Only connect, and the beast and the monk, robbed of the isolation that is life to either will die." -E.M. Forster, Howard's End

                                                                        AND

"Total eclecticism works neither for art nor religion--at some point one has to make choices, one has to shut out the critical self and take the leap."- May Sarton, The House by the Sea

Life is like this too. Whatever you want, connect with it. And choose/commit. No diddle dallying around.

AND

You Have to Reach out and Grab it:

Whatever IT is: A Job, a Relationship, a Possibility...

Set your eyes on it, don't swerve, and you will land on what you want, if you keep your eyes on it. 

                                                    Laziness is getting Distracted.

                                                    Discipline is getting Focused. 

That's literally all it is. In Life you have to be disciplined to get what you really want, but it takes focus. Discipline is to fall into line where the track indicates. 

Parking in a parking space takes discipline. You have to focus to be accurate. As long as you're lazy (and unfocused) you will park parallel to the striped lines. You don't want to be parked parallel to your Purpose. It shows you're not reading the signs correctly. You are willfully trying to be Right, when you are Wrong. (Do I do that?) 

check yourself, before you wreck yourself.~

“Life is what you do after your barber cuts your hair"

 

We all get our hair cut. Some, multiple times a year, some every few years. In any event, hair will be trimmed, beards will be shaped, and moustaches will be shorn. The truth is, as long as we are healthy, our hair grows. It isn’t until we are dead, and even then! Our hair continues to grow! Astonishing, I know.

So with Life, we cannot keep it freeze-framed in Time. It will continue, day by day, eating away deliciously at our very Existence. Literally. Our years go down the drain, like the daily medications that go down our throats! All with little or no impact, depending on the various conditions of daily life, like what sign the moon is in, or if the crickets are chirping extra vigilantly. More or less irrelevant, but necessary all the same!

Life helps you, up to a certain spot. Like the hairdresser or barber. You ask for just a trim. Then afterwards, after thanking them profusely, you actually realize you could have done more of a change than you thought. Did the hairdresser do a great, job? The best I’ve SEEN! It was that Eleanor had just realized she was ready to Re-Invent her life! And she had to speak it into existence. So, she went home grabbed her rough kitchen shears from the drawer and pulled herself up close to the mirror to inspect the situation. *Snip* *Zip* *Dip*. Checks mirror*. *Snip* *Zip* *Dip*. It was done, more inches than she thought she’d ever cut! First, dejectedly, “Woops” …. Then finally… "Wahoo!”

-----------------------------

The guidepost for today is simple:

"Life is what you do after your barber cuts you hair." 

It isn't enough to just accept what other people/society does for us. We have to take ownership of ourselves. That means even if our parents or teachers did everything they could for us (or nothing) it is almost irrelevant (though we are very grateful) (or not!) 

At the end of the day: F**kin DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE. DON’T JUST SIT THERE LIKE AN EGG AFRIAD TO BE CRACKED. You are here to make a change. IN ORDER FOR THE EGG TO FULFILL ITS PURPOSE IN LIFE, IT IS EITHER TO HATCH OR MAKE ROOM FOR A DIFFERENT SORT OF CONTRIBUTION. (Alright, I’m not yelling anymore), YES, I AM, YOU HAVE TO MAKE A CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE OR YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THE LIFE YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED! GiRL!!!***

We each have more potential than we can even imagine!

Just TRY is all we are saying over here on Chanel 9 News, just try. Be like the hero or heroine in your favorite Disney movie, action hero film, or cartoon. Be Sailor Moon, or Belle or Barbie even! If it means you are your true Fulfilled Self! Don’t be Afraid** to Shine. What a silly notion! Afraid to Shine.

 Silly, Am I right?

Live (Any way you want) and Like it!

"It is the lady who expects orchids who gets them."- Marjorie Hillis

In Live Alone and Like it, Marjorie Hillis offers more insight in how to create the life of your dreams for the average struggling woman today, single or taken, than many how-to guides I've seen in the last twenty years. A clarion call when it was first published in 1936, this "classic guide for the single woman" rings true for how to win at life now as much as then. She is not here to wish pity on the unmarried, or lately unemployed, but to encourage with a slight tap of the ruler, to pull yourself up by your silk stockings and show a little leg already!

She wades you in slowly, "The beginning is your attitude-- your approach so to speak. For the basis [of successful living] is determination to make it successful."

Later she emphasizes, "This business of making your own life may sound dreary--especially if you have a dated mind and still think of yourself as belonging to the Weaker Sex. But it isn't really. You can have a grand time doing it."

In terms of creating your life, the best version of your life, she insists: "The idea is to do it yourself--and to do it first. But to do it well, you'll need at least two things: a mental picture of yourself as a gay and independent person, and spunk enough to get the picture across to the other person." 

Such exemplary take away quotes include: 

"Be a Communist, a stamp collector, or a Ladies Aid worker if you must, but for heaven's sake, be something. When you are something, do something about it. Pick out your logical prey, and pounce" (39).

 Later, "Are you really entertained? Anyone with any gumption can be. The first rule is to have several passionate interests" (53). 

She gives an array of possible interests to be involved in, including antiquing, astrology, tap dancing, genealogy or making jewelry. "Divide your time intelligently into hours spent alone and hours spent in entertainment. Both should be taken in moderation, and balanced rations are best" (56). 

Also, she suggests planning the week beforehand, "instead of drifting along, thinking something pleasant will show up." Good advice for us all. And in case you didn't realize it yet, "the full schedule involves a certain number of friends" (57). I concur 100%.

In terms of my personal favorite, that I can attest to, is the importance of Travel in one's busy, ordinary life. "A reasonable amount of travel ought, of course, to be listed among the necessities. (An unreasonable amount if you can manage it.")

Marjorie Hillis has many more insights for those interested souls looking to craft their life on their own terms. Read it if you're ready! (Amazon has it where most bookstores will not!)

It is true that you have to make your life fit your income. But..."with a reasonable amount of ingenuity, you can have a marvelous time on practically nothing" (60).

Love is Patient and Kind...

 I questioned Existence and Love. How could I be so bold? Like a child discounting her parents' love, when the sacredness of the bond is inherently Immovable, Unshakable, and should be unquestionable.

It's all in the Follow-Through. 

There comes a time for ALL things to be brought to the surface, seen in their true light, and put in their place. This was one of them.

The path before me is Clear. To See Clearly is the highest of Arts. We live in a world/society that discounts intuition in preference for logic. But even facts have their dogma, or cheerleaders, for good or ill. Life is Art, or even English after all, and not just math or physics. Both sides of the brain are necessary for Development and Growth. 

To Live and Grow Fruitfully is the highest act of Faith. The height and resiliency of any Religion, Political stance, Healthcare system or Relationship rests on the loyalty of its people to its cause. Purpose is the driving force of Nations, not grain or wine. 

It is sacrificing that we are lifted up. There is no earned* reward without hard work. Don't try to falsely make it "Easy"--it will just be Harder!

The greatest Trust we can have in Another is Trust in and Healing for Ourselves. To Choose, Select and Commit shows more Love than any Ambivalence can test.

Thorough Observations

 From Walden, by Henry David Thoreau

“But whether we should live like baboons or like men, is a little uncertain.” – 60

“Why should they begin digging their graves as soon as they are born?”

“We are all poor in respect to a thousand savage comforts, though surrounded by luxuries.”

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Clothing

The purpose of Clothing: to retain vital heat, and to cover nakedness.

Thoreau:

“Yet I am sure that there is greater anxiety, commonly to have fashionable, or at least clean and unpatched clothes, than to have a sound conscience.”

He says it would be easier for them to hobble to town with a broken leg than with a broken or ripped clothing.

“We know but few men, a great many coats and breeches.”

We might as well address scarecrows as men, since we seem to dress ourselves with the same haphazard artifice. Our clothes, our adornments are not US, no matter what Tiffany and Old Navy ads suggest. They no more enhance or convey our personality than wearing certain kinds of exotic fruits on our heads. Perhaps this signifies wealth or position in some circles (tribes in Africa), but the symbols do not necessarily translate cross-culturally, and certainly not when viewed from Heaven’s eyes. Your pair of converse, or immaculate $200 Nike sneakers don’t inspire my confidence any more.

The “accidental possession of wealth” and beauty gleans esteem and respect. Meanwhile, those born below certain income levels are glowered at.

In many places one can go into a mall and it’s truly hard to tell who is wealthy, who poor as the clothing items have merged the gap. Tacky, frilly, silly, sparkly, glitzy, glam has become accessible to the masses ; and who can really spot a real Coach purse from afar.

Why are we so desperate to be acknowledged? We feel our value lies in our clothes merely.

Thoreau posits:

“A man who has at length found something to do will not need to get a new suit to do it in.”

“But if my jacket and trousers, my hat and shoes are fit to worship God in, they will do; will they not?” –But the irony is people now do dress up to worship God; although that’s not quite right. They dress up to impress their community* more than they even think what God thinks of their outfit. The logic of trying to impress God with your outfit is illogical, yet who does not think of Easter or Christmas Eve and not think it synonymous with dressing up?

On Shelter/houses

Thoreau:

“our houses are such unwieldy property that we are often imprisoned rather than housed in them.”

“the bad neighborhood to be avoided is our own scurvy selves. “ “While civilization has been improving our houses, it has not equally improved the men who are to inhabit them.

“Before we can adorn our houses with beautiful objects the walls must be stripped, and our lives must be stripped, and beautiful housekeeping and beautiful living be laid for a foundation. “

“Let our houses first be lined with beauty, where they come in contact with our lives.”

Work

Thoreau:

“Does wisdom work in a tread-mill?”

Thoreau speaks of a man in town who is planning on building a wall. “The result will be that he will perhaps get some more money to hoard, and leave for his heirs to spend foolishly. If I do this, most will commend me as an industrious and hard-working man; but if I choose to devote myself to certain labors which yield more real profit, though but little money, they may be inclined to look at me as an idler.”

People would be rather insulted if you insinuated their work as being nothing more than throwing rocks over a wall and then throwing them back, just to make money. But “many are no more worthily employed now.” Ouch.

“If the laborer gets no more than the wages which is employer pays him, he is cheated, he cheats himself. Those services which the community will most readily pay for it is disagreeable to render. You are being paid for being something less than a man.”

Such is sadly the case.

“I do not need the police of meaningless labor to regulate me.” “I prefer to finish my education at a different school”

Henry speaks about someone of Native descent who realizes weaving baskets is something he can do, so he goes out to try to sell them, not realizing there has to be interest in buying. Thoreau also is aware he’s weaving subtler tapestries, but instead of studying how to ensure good buyers, “I studied rather how to avoid the necessity of selling them. The life which men praise and regard as successful is but one kind.” And Society over-exaggerates the importance of the life of the Forced laborer.

As Laura Dassaw Walls suggests in the Biography on Thoreau “From ‘an observatory in the stars,’ would America’s ‘beehive’ of commercial activity really look like freedom? Hardly.”

Material goods bind us rather than free us, enslave us rather than emancipate us.

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation”… “but it is characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.”