“You’ve Got the Stuff to Make Life Rich”

Dear Famous Cracker Company,

On your ad, you say I have all the stuff to make life rich. How philosophical!

If you don’t mind me asking, Please expound! What is this “stuff” you suggest I possess? Perhaps you are thinking of the quote by Schopenhauer when he says that “What a man is and has in himself, is the only immediate and direct factor in his happiness and welfare.” Too true!

From my lay-man’s reading of your bold statement, I am deeply moved by your implication. But I am frankly astonished that you could see so deep into my soul so quickly (I only turned the page and you had a read on me!) You (your brand) must believe that the select masses who read “Martha Stewart Living” know what really matters in life. That what is Natural and Free, Beautiful and Good is what truly has value. That it’s not comprised of anything you can buy on a grocery store shelf.

However, I have a sneaking suspicion you and your marketing team have another meaning in mind. May I inquire how you define “rich”, as you mention it multiple times in your ad? Could you be implying that your “stuff” is what makes life rich? Could you be suggesting I already have a box of your special brand crackers in my pantry; because that would be assuming too much! Could you be suggesting that if I don’t have a box of your iconic treats, it is in my best interest to purchase some?  Because that would be ridiculous.The logic just doesn’t stand! 

“Life’s Rich” you say, snuggled up beside your renowned emblem. Then you must know what Schopenhauer said, “that what a man is contributes much more to his happiness than what he has.” (Whether a man has or hasn't any crackers is not accounted for in his philosophy.)

Your crafty truism seems to imply that your company values those things that make life rich, in the broadest sense. And yet, pardon my cynicism, I could point to just the opposite conclusion. From looking at your product alone, you value what is unnatural and artificial. I could say your company and all the Aisle 5 name brand companies out there are just marketers of over-salted, packaged illusions, partially hydrogenated and overcooked lies, with no grain of common humanity. Speaking generally of course.

Yet you claim, to contribute to the Good Life, the rich life. I would say, pardon my rudeness, that you contribute to just the opposite. Heart disease, diabetes, obesity, malnutrition, could probably in some round-about way be linked to your very company. It’s amazing that even with all the Organic, Natural brand companies taking your buyers from you, instead of looking at how to change to fit the market, you still just print up another ad with some pithy truism attached to some even more clever photo op. And on your merry way you go. 

Modern day society is actually much like one of your circular wafers; it offers up very little sustenance and even less nourishment. However, unlike the masses, I happen to see beneath the falsity and perversity of commercialism, and that means I see beneath your red, white and blue, coordinated spread. I would hope today’s companies care more about filling people’s stomachs with quality ingredients than filling their heads with mindless one-liners. You know what’s appealing? A company whose integrity translates from what they “say” to what they actually “do”.  Life is rich; but not because of anything to do with your snacks.

Yours most sincerely,

-Not an admirer